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Trader Joe's Spokesperson Wins "Product" Placement Contest

PASADENA—A spokesperson for a Southern California specialty grocery store chain is America's best spokesperson, according to "No Comment: The Journal of American Spokespeople."

Trader Joe's spokesperson Alison Mochizuki used the word "product" five times within just three sentences in a recent corporate statement, landing her a first-place finish in the journal's much-anticipated "product placement" category.

NoCo, as it's known in the public relations business, celebrated Mochizuki's 6% "product"-to-other-words ratio, calling it "lean and efficient, which by no means is meant to cast aspersions on the other entries which were, of course, also very, very fine in their own ways."

"I was just in the zone, I guess," Mochizuki told NoCo. "You can overthink these things. I find it best to empty my mind of all thoughts, and then just let the words talk themselves."

Mochizuki told "No Comment" she was prouder of the fact that she'd honored both her company's customers and the country they fear most. "As speech product goes, that was my toughest product--producing that kind of 'on-the-one-hand-on-the-other' quality we pursue day in and day in this particular industry segment. Product."